Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
