Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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