Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
