i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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