She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
