no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
