Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
