There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Enjoy the penises
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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