yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
