Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
