when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
