You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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