Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
