wanna go halves on a baby?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
