Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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