she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
