apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
