those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
