thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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