well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
