she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
