Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
