She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
