i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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