doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
