those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
