The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
