rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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