Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
