perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
