She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We are two peas in an std pod
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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