I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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