Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
