I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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