Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
