3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
