I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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