A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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