Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
