first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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