Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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