Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
