did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
