Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
