chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
