you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
