I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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