the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
