We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
