there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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