so explain again why im purple
no
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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