so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
