My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
