i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
