the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
