TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
